What I Learned After Teaching People How to Code for 3.5 Years

From 2018 - 2021 I was teaching people how to code at a bootcamp in Germany. The experience naturally allowed me to grow dramatically as an engineer, but I've also learned so much about being a mentor, manager, and leader. My goal in writing this is to share what I've learned during my years as an educator.

On my social media feeds I noticed teachers and people in mentorship positions posting about the need for us to have empathy and compassion when interacting with our students and colleagues. This is of course completely accurate! But posts like this oftentimes do not go into the how of doing this. Having empathy and compassion can sometimes be easier said than done.

Here's an example: we had a student once who was overall argumentative and disruptive during class. I could say something like, "Not every dev team writes tests," and they would say, "Well, actually..." I found them to be very frustrating and overall difficult to work with. I took the student's behavior personally, as if they were trying to challenge me because they didn't think I was competent. Hence why I felt frustrated by their behavior.

I wasn't sure how to handle this student so I asked a colleague for advice. The colleague recommended that the next time this student makes a disruptive comment, I should validate the student's perspective instead of pushing back or dismissing it. So that's what I did; the next time the student spoke out I thanked them for sharing their perspective and asked questions about it.

What a difference this made! The student's behavior changed night and day, to the point where I started enjoying working with the student. As it turns out (in my opinion at least), while I interpreted the student's behavior as a challenge of my competence, in reality the student was seeking support and validation. Once they got it, they stopped their disruptive behavior, let down their guards, and started expressing their true self.

With regards to this student, having empathy and compassion meant having the emotional intelligence to understand that their behavior was a symptom of something else that had nothing to do with me. The way to respond to disruptive or otherwise difficult behavior is to create an environment where the student feels safe.

This isn't particularly difficult to do. All I had to do with this specific student was thank them for sharing this viewpoint and ask the occasional follow-up question. In other instances a simple, "Hey, just wanted to let you know you did really great on that project!" worked. In some rarer cases, a gentle conversation was needed.

Of course, there are boundaries that may not be crossed. A code of conduct is useful in the very rare cases where a students behavior becomes outright disrespectful.

With that being said, the teacher/mentor in question themselves needs to feel supported by their employer. The employer needs to ensure the needs of their staff are met. No amount of emotional intelligence will outdo the harms caused by an employer that does not respect or meet the needs of their employees.

Further, the culture of the team is also extremely important in making sure teachers can be successful. Teaching is a job that has a high burnout rate, but a supportive team culture in which everyone feels safe, respected, and heard can mitigate the effects of burnout. I was the most senior teacher on my team (and the second most senior person at the company) so I also had to do my part to build a team where everyone felt safe to express themselves and their opinions.

There's so much more I could say on the topic, but the main point I wanted to get across here is that behaviors are symptoms of some other issue (that likely doesn't have to do with you). An effective teacher or mentor shouldn't judge the behavior of a student or mentee, but try to understand the issue causing that behavior. Doing so will allow your relationship with the student/mentee to deepen, which in turn will allow both of you to grow.